Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
the raccoons are back...
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