Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize