If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
