I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
