So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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