how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
