I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
