Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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