Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
