I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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