It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
