I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
