Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
