wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
