drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
