I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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