Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
