i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
