There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
