i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
