So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
