i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Church boner. Awkwardddd
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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