they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
