Yo dont text me then not text me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
