I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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