no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
