I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
