I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
