Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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