...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The maid of honor just puked.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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