You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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