I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The best revenge is premature balding
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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