as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
