my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
