dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Sorry about my life...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
