Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
