i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How's work?
Spinning.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
