Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
