just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
