first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
