I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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