I want to stick my p in your. b.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Church boner. Awkwardddd
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
