Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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