After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
It was confusing and full of hummus
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day