I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we have officially lost it.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.