Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
