It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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