my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
