How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
