That's intense
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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