I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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