Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
