Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
