Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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