I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize