smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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