Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
