when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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