so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
