the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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